HELLO!

We all missed Bob today. For those who are not aware, Bob would sit at a table, just inside the front doors of the church, with a list of those 230 orders, ready for pick up. Bob knew, from the list, how many orders one person had made. We three delivery people would come in, with cash in our hands, Bob would check off the name, make change and tell me how he knew that person. Ralph knew them as well, he would often go out to personally speak to the driver. Between Bob and Ralph, they knew everyone. Bob was full of fun, laughter, and joy. He made any volunteer experience a delight. Juanita made this sign, and several people who pulled up, did not know Bob had died. Juanita had hugs for all of them.

Here is one of the memories posted on the funeral home website, you can find it marked Guestbook on the obituary. “I met Bob on my first day of work with Sperry Univac in October, 1976. I will always remember his kindness, sense of humour and how much he loved his family and his Sperry/Unisys colleagues. I have many wonderful memories of Bob’s Grey Cup and Halloween parties plus his retirement party where Ann Wagner sang “Wind Beneath My Wings”. He was a hero to all who knew him and he will be missed. May he rest in peace.” I have been pondering what made Bob such a good friend, companion and fellow volunteer. Every time I spoke with Bob my sense was, he was genuinely interested in me. I was certainly that with him. There was never that sense of two people pretending to have a conversation, where each just speaks about themselves. You have likely heard that type of conversion. Person A “How have you been?” Person B “I have not been well. I have had Covid”. Person A “I had Covid, I was sick for three weeks”. Person B “My Covid lasted for four weeks”. Bob was not only a good listener, his listening was not waiting for a break to talk about himself, it was to learn more about the people he met. He remembered what people shared with him.

I have met many lonely people who ask me, “How can I make friends?” My only advice is, the more you show genuine interest in others, where it is obvious your interest is not just to find an audience, but a relationship, you are more likely to make friends. No guarantee, friendship is about chemistry. Relationships cannot be manufactured, and you cannot make friends with a “how to” check list. But the odds go way up when you are sincerely, genuinely, interested in other people, not just those who are like you. I have the advantage of not meeting many people who act and think like me, so most people are different, to me. Thus, I never privilege the familiar. Bob treated everyone with curiosity, from the familiar, to the eccentric like me. And I noticed. It’s what made him so special to me.

Peace, Kevin