HELLO!

They came to Capernaum, Jesus asked the disciples, “What were you arguing about on the way?” They were silent, for they had argued with one another who was the greatest. He called the twelve, and said to them, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:33-35

One of the constants in the Gospels is Jesus telling his disciples that his provocative, unsettling, truth-telling, would eventually lead to his death. Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr and Archbishop Romero, all said the same thing, they knew their outspoken claims would result in suffering, likely death. And the disciples’ response? You guessed it, “which one of us, when we ascend into Heaven, will sit on your right and your left?” You couldn’t write a better sketch for “Life of Brian” than that. When people tell me I roll my eyes too much, I think of that interaction between Jesus and his disciples. If Jesus could roll his eyes, why not me? And, just to show you, I am AOK with people rolling their eyes at me…At Mike’s funeral on Wednesday the Office Manager asked me to fill in the Burial Register. I have been spoiled these last ten years, Office Managers have done this for me, I just had to sign in the last box. As I began to fill in the spaces allotted for Mike’s funeral, under the name of deceased I wrote LITTLE and quickly realized my mistake. The Office Manager’s eyes began to roll but before they did, Elaine calmly said, “Kevin just sign at the end, and I will fill out the rest”. Sometimes we just don’t get it.

Kim says, “You know I love you, but your worst quality are four little words, I Told You So.” She says it is easier to let this go because I am the first to admit when I am wrong. In all games and any competition, I am the most gracious loser and the most insufferable winner. One reason for this is my impulse to worry, to assume things are not going to work, to have a Plan B, C, and D. This worries, ironically enough, makes me ever joyful, when something does work, I cannot believe my good fortunate. Most often I am surrounded by people who assume their plans will go as smoothly and as easily as they assume. In my experience, the more certain a person is, the more likely it is that something will go wrong. If I have been dismissed, ridiculed, mocked, as a worrier, laughter fills the air, I will remember. I have no problem being the butt of a joke, I have a problem when I raise a possible outcome, am dismissed, and then what I predicted, comes to pass. Do I say, “I told you so”? Yes, I do. I don’t run it in, after all we need to get on with it, find a solution, make this work. But for the sake my own mental health, so that no resentment remains, I need to tell the person who has dismissed me, “I had a point, you ought not to have dismissed me so.” And then…I move on. To plan B, C and D.

Peace, Kevin