HELLO!

There was a time when a person’s complaint, over a seemingly minor issue, would be categorized as a “first world problem”. But the expression, “First world” can imply, best world. To find better wording for this commentary of making small things into big things some now use the expression "Champagne Problems". According to Urban Dictionary, Champagne Problems means: "Problems, when compared to issues of poverty, natural disasters, and war, are not that big of a deal."

There is “push back” on this type of critique, when worrying or complaining about something that, with some perspective, feels smaller with more reflection. The objection goes like this, “The phrase champagne problems allows people to minimize, belittle and not deal with their genuine issues. Further, while the phrase reminds us to be grateful for what we DO have it doesn't mean we can't speak up and share our needs, issues, and desires.” A “problem” is a problem in the eye of beholder, if we “judge” some problems as worthy and others as less so, we are sending out a message to those who are stressed to remain silent, lest their complaining be judged to be a “champagne problem”.

I get this. The problems we face are experienced differently by our unique personalities. For instance, I know people who remain calm and centred even when they receive a challenging diagnosis. And yet, that same person is completely undone by the loss of their job. Some people lose everything, their savings, etc…when investments go south and they remain buoyant. But if their beloved dog or cat is ill, they cannot sleep. It is unhelpful and inconsiderate to evaluate these different challenges as either “legitimate” or “champagne problems”. And yet…

We do live in a culture now where we can literally order an item, of any description, size, colour, fabric, and have it delivered to our door in hours. We can go to a restaurant and ask specifically for what we want, every imaginable way that dish could be prepared. And this expectation has resulted, for people of all ages, incomes, cultures, in a frustration that borders on rage, when the delivery of said item is not what we expected/wanted. We now expect things to be as we want them to be, our patience, our flexibility, our sense of perspective (comparing this stress with the health of our bodies, our relationships, the well-being of our friends and family) compromised and warped by what has come to be the recent norm of our lives. Surely, it is not a mistake to name this for what it is, a loss of perspective, a confusion over what really matters.

My own lens on this issue is informed by the person whom I care for. I do not evaluate what they love (as long as it is not harmful to others or them) but I do question if they are giving themselves the perspective to see how stressed they are over the delay in a delivery as compared to the gathering of their loved ones, the exercise of their ministry, the work for justice. Surely, the stress over a coffee ordered as a double-double, delivered as a single-double, is not comparable to the worry over a loved one who lives in BC, struggling with cancer, the unhoused living in our shelters. Surely, we can, we should, make this distinction clear, for our benefit, for society’s benefit. Not to do so, feels like neglect.

Peace, Kevin

PS When I come to the office from my work as a navigator at foodbanks, I am full of compassion for everyone challenged by their health and relationships. Dealing with questions about chairs and stoles, less so.