HELLO! 

I enjoyed being at the Craft Sale today. I love meeting people, especially new faces. I also enjoy listening to persons who create things, especially when they articulate the passion they feel for their craft. One man told me he thinks of his creations like offspring, “I like to raise them, instill my values in them, and then watch them find a new home and a new purpose.” I confess when I enter these spaces and meet these people, I am aware how “other” I am, as I have no discernible skills. As mentioned in other blogs and platforms, my late mother and brothers are gifted and are exactly the people who would sit behind a table and display their craft. I am not much like my late father, we had little in common apart from an eccentric sense of humour, but we both shared a lack of obvious practical and artistic skills. I feel because I watched how others would wait till he went to work to “remedy” his “handy” efforts, I make the declaration at the outset I lack these skills. Better to be self-aware.

Still, I have never been burdened with a lack of self-esteem or feelings of “less than” despite have no discernible skills apart from public speaking. Even when it comes to being a “presenter” as they call it in the UK, I am not a classic debater or public speaker as those who teach these skills would assess. No one would ever label me a dynamic speaker or preacher in the way those terms are typically used. My style is more informal, conversational, and despite the preparations I make before each speaking engagement (research and practice) I always leave room for adjustments, mostly based on the energy of the room, what came before my words.

I believe my self-confidence is best explained by a) a mother who had an obsessive belief in my destiny to do good things, b) a faith in a higher power that gave me a sense of purpose and direction, c) emotionally calm, funny and honest companionship from Lucian and Kim, and d) the evidence I could discern that my efforts in community made a difference.

When I turned 40, I needed a “course correction”, people-pleasing was not good for my mental health. People who knew me then tell me they find my aversion to affirmation startling. I enjoy being with people, as I was today, but I equally enjoy my time alone and at home. Before 40 I had a hundred friends and worked very hard to maintain those relationships. Now, I can count on one hand those I call friends, and that is more than enough. I make no apologies for enjoying the time I offer in public leadership. When people tell me, in a rather self-righteous way “I don’t like to be the centre of attention” I like to reply, “And I don’t need to be always right or to always get my way”. We all need what we need.

What I need now at this stage of my life, is community, a place where I can offer what skills I possess and make some difference. I appreciate this community for that opportunity and blessing. Peace, Kevin