HELLO!

Like many my age I am drawn to a more sarcastic sense of humour. We grew up with Saturday Night Live, David Letterman, and Bill Murray. And even in the sports arena, there were Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann. That kind of humour is not currently popular. It is seen as too caustic. I get that. Not everyone is keen on being teased like this, even if most of those who love this style of humour are as tough on themselves as anyone else. In fact, in my own personal experience, it is the self-inflicted sarcasm that seems to frustrate listeners the most, “don’t say that about yourself, you are a good (fill in the blank)”. And yet…as I age, I do see merit in being honest about our flaws, in a strange way it makes being proud of our strengths feel more authentic and accurate to others.

Part of what drove this 1980’s brand of humour was what preceded it, which was a lot of sugary sentimentalism, a heavy dose of “I’m OK -Your OK”. And what preceded the “I’m OK” mantras were often very critical comments designed to shame people into conformity and convention. My late mother’s generation (1939-2004) lived with the effects of that particular method of expressing one’s judgement about others. So it makes complete sense for culture to go the other way, “You look fabulous” and “You are a genius”. Except, we know a lot of this talk is inaccurate, and in the end, we know it is false. Eventually, there would be a kind of humour that poked at this endless affirmation. Sarcasm ruled the comedy world for a decade or more. But being honest here, I know many find this caustic, constant teasing, abrasive, even hurtful by times.

I recall the Maritime Conference, where I and 20 others were being ordained. We sat in a circle, with the Youth Forum, to share our sense of call. The minister who introduced us really laid it on, with flowery language, “these persons are here to gently touch the Spirit in everyone, they have been motivated to colour in the shadows…” As we went around the circle, my fellow ordinands all joined in, they were all going out into the world to heal, love, pray, work for justice, etc… I knew my colleagues, and I knew myself. I was fully aware this was “over the top”. So when my turn came, I thought I was being funny, “I’m being ordained for the big salary and compensation package.” The youth laughed, my colleagues did NOT. “That was inappropriate” the facilitator interrupted.

She was right. I regret that, though I don’t think she handled it as well as she could. If she had been reading the room, she would have noted the youth were laughing (they found us “over the top”). As I get older, I am both more aware how many not are keen on the kind of humour I enjoy, but also how many there are, like me, who tire of excessive and false expressions of affirmation. I prefer to offer praise for what feels more honest, accurate, and lasting. Not everything is “awesome” or “amazing”, though there are times, often overlooked, when something “awesome and amazing” comes to life. I find reserving those words for those occasions makes the observations more authentic and remembered.

I sing like a sick crow, and I dance like the animated characters on “A Charlie Brown Christmas” but I can read a room and know how to reach people with a story. And those stories usually make me look foolish.

Peace, Kevin