HELLO!

“Mornings at Blackwater” by Mary Oliver (from her collection “Red Birds”)

For years, every morning, I drank from Blackwater Pond.

It was flavored with oak leaves and also, no doubt, the feet of ducks.

And always it assuaged me from the dry bowl of the very far past.

What I want to say is the past is the past, the present is what your life is, and you are capable of choosing what that will be, darling citizen.

So come to the pond, or the river of your imagination, or the harbor of your longing, and put your lips to the world. And live your life.

I received this painting from Dean. He is someone I have known off and on for 20+ years. I first met him when I served on the Board of a non-profit art centre, Dean was one of the many artists who came there, painted there, sold his work there. Later, I met him as he was volunteering for a local foodbank, it was during the COVID lockdowns. Dean was struggling with the social isolation, he needed conversation. I found I needed to arrive at the foodbank early, to ensure we had the time to “check in” before I left in the car with the 15 banana boxes of food for clients. Dean wanted to share his worldview, his anxiety and his hopes.

Later, when the lockdowns ended, Dean needed help with repairs. I referred him to his local MLA office, the staff there were known for their excellent work. It turned out they knew contractors who did this work, and, surprisingly, given his income, he qualified for a subsidy that would help pay for the repairs. Dean was overjoyed. He offered this painting as a thank you. Kim says the duck’s eyes “know something we don’t”.

I think one thing the duck knows that Dean knows, is “time is ticking” and this fragile life is over far too soon. It is not a judgement on anyone to say life is short and thus how we fill this time is a matter of some importance. I never tell people, ever, to “get over the past”, after all that is easy for me to say, given my white male privilege, my middle-class life. However, when people ask me about my life, how I prioritize my time, I explain I tend to look at the future and try hard to be present. “What about the past?” they ask. Again, they ask, so I respond that I know time is short, so my focus is on the present and the future.

Yesterday I was looking for a short article from a newspaper story in the 90’s. I have one very small filing cabinet in the basement with a few file folders. One is a collection of old stories about some of the work I have done. FYI, I have never kept any of my old columns. As I looked over the old yellowing newspaper print, I realized how little I think about the past.

I remember one thing Dean told me about painting, “I need something to focus on when I am anxious, that pulls me into the present.” I find the gift of imagination and creativity to be my restoration. Peace, Kevin