HELLO!

Certainty. I will tell you, when I hear this mentality expressed to me, I am apt to be sceptical. There are exceptions. When am engineer tells me a bridge is safe. When a pilot tells me she knows how to fly a plane. When a surgeon tells me she is happy with the operation. Excluding these examples, and a few others, I remain doubtful any human can be certain of anything. That does not mean our experiences are devoid of wisdom for others, that our collective “trial and error” interactions can’t help point us, and others, in a more satisfying direction. It is always a good thing to reflect on what we have learned from the past, from others.

I am an ordained minister. I have faith. I believe in God. I believe Jesus is a Saviour capable of eternal and everlasting hope. I believe the Spirit moves among us. I believe there is evil in our world, though not in one person, and not always in our enemies. Sometimes the evil is in us, like when Canada failed to accept Jewish refugees in the 30’s and 40’s. I recall visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington DC. One of the ways we typically avoid the uncomfortable truth of evil infecting us is to say, “we never knew”, “it was our leaders who did that”. There is a room in that museum, it is entirely plasters, ceilings, walls, doors, with the front pages of the major newspapers of the US, all with bold headlines highlighting the plight of Jewish refugees seeking safe countries to land.

When I meet people who are challenged by circumstances that overwhelm them it is tempting to tell them, “I know how you feel” and “I know the way”. But I don’t. I do feel I have heard many wise things, from many wise people, things that could possibly help others. What I say to the other is, “As I listen to you, I am reminded of a friend/someone I met/me who experienced (fill in blank) and they/I found this strategy/action/approach helpful. Is that story helpful to your situation or is your experience very different from that description?” What is helpful about this approach is it allows the other to clarify, often they have left out important parts of their story, that may well change how you as a listener respond. Often the second set of stories I share with the one who is struggling are much more on point that the first ones.

Most of the time, even if you never share any story that resonates, what you have done is listen and that is often what the other person wants. I will add, people do ask me for advice, a lot! If I were to do what some suggest, only to listen, I know some would be disappointed we never explored possible strategies. I hope my approach, a sort of compromise on listening/sharing, works. But I am not certain it does…Peace, Kevin

PS Last year at this time, I had 75 subscribers, now I have 120. Last year, at this time, an additional 750 people per month read this blog, this year it is 1,000. I have not missed a day since March 2020 when COVID first emerged. I began writing them at my previous church. That’s 2000 consecutive blogs without missing a day, but who is counting…